Extracts from the Flight to Japan.

11 March 2014 § Leave a comment

I pulled an all-nighter last night for the first time since sometime in 4th or 5th year. As the hours flew by, I was feeling mostly scared. Doubtful. AS IF I’m actually going to Japan for 14 months. My life has been fairly consistent, never much drastic change. To be perfectly honest, there is a part of me that wants to turn around and go home and be SAFE and not take a RISK. But I know it will be fine. Everything in my life suggests that it’s what I ought to do. For the sake of affirming my independence (albeit in a sort of extreme way), for the sake of breaking bad habits that I’d continue if I don’t leave, for the sake of maybe giving myself time to figure myself out…

We are around 3 hours over the ocean now. Still 9 hours to go. Watched “127 Hours”, starring James Franco. It was good. Not spectacular, but I enjoyed it Considering how long our flight is, they don’t offer much selection for viewing, unless I want to pay. Listened to some of my friends’ recordings earlier… They’re wonderful. JC chose a short story by Vonnegut. Phil read “Sunflower Sutra”, though I only just started listening to it as we were about to land in San Francisco. (“Frisco hilly tincan sitdown evening vision”). EA read “What Teachers Make” and another poem and that Bahz Luhrmann “Wear Sunscreen”…

It still isn’t real. At this point, it feels like it will never be. I’ll get back to St. Catharines next year and it will all have felt like a dream. I’m afraid that I’ll want to stay longer, ha,I’m afraid that I won’t. I feel like I’ll feel guilty if I don’t stay longer than just a year, like, what’s wrong with me?! Everyone else stays!! I know I’ll make new friends in Japan, but the ones I already have no are so dear to me…

I feel like I can’t think directly about it. “But tell it slant”. It’s too much to think about. I know that so many other people have done this before me, and even for longer amounts of time. But this is me. Homesick when I’m down the stret. And now I’m a quarter of the way around the world…

Now around 3h 30m left on the flight. Can’t see Ontario on the map display on my little monitor thing. Overall, the flight has been swell!..

1h 20 m left. I am quite tired, probably from just being on here so long. We are getting more food now. I just want to sleep the rest of the time, but it’s probably a good thing to try to stay awake and alert from here on out. Gonna be an alien soon!! A minority! More white than Japanese! Oh boy!

Currently 10 PM in Osaka. I have already made 1 new friend. I am lying in new sheets. My fridge is decorated with photos. I ate some food from a convenience store. I paid my rent. I have a shower. I called home. Don’t have Internet yet. It’s warm out during the day. I have no heater. I am all alone.

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